A few people have noticed not just my absence in Pet Blog Land but also my blog’s disappearance. Thank you, it’s nice to be missed:) Both events were tenuously connected.
Do you remember a couple of months ago I wrote a few posts giving you a bit of insight into my ‘real world‘ life? John, my ex-husband, died on Friday, Remembrance Day, at 10am. I had expected him to go into a decline after I had to let Joshie go to the Bridge, but he didn’t. He carried on the same as usual apart from always saying how much he missed Josh every time I visited him. During the 2 months without Josh he had a couple of trips to hospital with falls where he cut his head and one with a very mild seizure, but nothing major. I thought he could carry on for years yet. So his death was a big shock. It was instant. My big fear was that he would have a seizure that would leave him in a vegetable state, but he got his wish and died at home and wasn’t far behind Josh, just as he told him when we buried him. So now John, Katie and Josh are all together again, fit and well as I love to remember them all.
I won’t go into all the details. Let’s just say that if any of you have gone through finding a loved one dead, dealing with police, undertakers, his family and friends, and organising a funeral alone you will have an idea of what it’s been like for me the past week. On Monday afternoon I had everything under control and the funeral organised and thought I would have a break from the real world and just install a new whizz bang version of my theme which only took a couple of clicks … and resulted in a totally white blog with no access to my dashboard! It wasn’t until yesterday morning that I had the energy and brain power to think about rectifying things, which I managed to do in a couple of hours.
Reading and commenting on blogs has been beyond me and I’ve got a lot of catching up to do. I’ve also got a lot of work to do with sorting things out at John’s, so it will be a while before I’m properly back in action.
I’m doing OK now. I have some lovely friends who check up on me, and Frankie and Beryl are keeping a close eye on me.
So much of the past 4 years of my life has revolved around John that I have no idea what it will be like without him. I still think I’m going to wake up and find I’ve dreamt the past weeks events and when I go out to his place soon he’ll be there. But he won’t be.
A friend of ours read this out for me at John’s funeral. It was a good funeral, if there is such a thing.
Thank you to everyone who has come along today to say goodbye to John. Some of you have travelled a long distance to be here and I really appreciate that. Unfortunately John’s brother and sister-in-law, Ian and Glenis, can’t be here due to circumstances beyond their control, but they are thinking of John.
Most of you will know the past few years haven’t been good ones for John. It was very sad to watch a man who was so mentally and physically active slowly deteriorate. John was extremely frustrated by it and well aware that his brain and body were nothing like they used to be and only getting worse. But he never lost his sense of humour and he never strayed from his desire to die at home.
If it wasn’t for his cousin, Carl, John probably would have died in hospital 3 years ago. She put her life on hold for a number of weeks to come to his rescue when I couldn’t and I will always be grateful to her for that. Carl has also been the first person I turned to for common sense advice when something needed doing that I couldn’t handle. Thank you, Carl.
There are many wonderful services and agencies available for the elderly in New Zealand and I have nothing but praise for the care and support John received from his Dr; Karl Gilchrist, his lovely home-help ladies, Joyce and Monika, Dr Kirsten Holst, Bev Flaust and Ann Legg who always seemed to find John on his many trips to Palmerston North hospital following a seizure. I know they are all pleased for John that his wish came true and he died at home, suddenly but quickly.
We’ve been helped and supported by a host of other people over the past few years, too many to mention individually. Please know it’s always been appreciated. Thank you.
One of the things I most admired about John was his kindness and consideration to animals, be they farm animals or pets. His constant companions in his last years were his two little Jack Russells, Katie and Josh. Katie left us in January, 2010 and John missed her terribly. Josh was one of those extra special little dogs and he looked after John in a way not many dogs would be capable of doing. Josh went to join Katie on the 10th of September this year. As we buried him next to Katie at the front of the house, where they liked to sit in the sun and admire the view, John’s last words to Josh were “I won’t be far behind you, Joshie” and 8 weeks later they are all together again.
John tackled his failing health with grace, dignity and humour. He made the best of everything that was thrown at him and was extremely grateful to those who helped him.
I am humbled and slightly embarrassed by the fact that John never stopped loving me and seemed to want everyone to know it:) The last few years I have loved him as a very dear friend and have tried to help him to the best of my ability. He would have done the same for me if the tables had been turned.
It is a privilege to have known and been loved by such an honourable man. Thank you for everything, John. Good hunting and go well.